Nostalgic Freedom

15th August 2008
1:45 AM

I am seating in my room in Koregaon Park with the first ever (and the only) printed copy of FLOP Magazine in my hand. I got it printed today evening only. And I am thinking or may I say, my mind is full of thoughts on which I have no control. I don’t want to control. My mind is free, after all it is Independence day today. And it goes to exactly the same time, but 2 years back. 15th August 2006. I started my tour of India then. And I was on top of tiger hills that time… and I exactly remember those words that I used to describe that moment on my tour of India blog...

"I have spent the first night ontiger hill (lonavale) in the midst of darkness, fog, rain and wind.. in the presence of fire and in the company of some very good friends (who came from Pune on bikes in zero visibility) just to spend some time with me,,,, it was like fusion of all five elements - fire,water, air, earth and sky!!! with mother nature at its best, it was one of the most most memorable night of my life!! Thanx to Abhay, Amit, Anish, Saumik, Mr.Wagle and Samarth. In Pratapsan's terms "It feltlike I was enjoying honeymoon with myself :)"

So, I write a sms to Abhay, a witness and part of that nostalgic moment. And I start writing again. But, don’t know where to start. Thoughts are so fast, I am trying to cope-up… so, don’t try to find any flow or logic in it. "LOGIC" is a big word, "KNOWLEDGE" is another…. I think, these words have killed my innocence somewhere in my life… now I am trying hard to unlearn and get that innocence back…If I could wish one thing from God, I would want my innocence back. But, I can’t wish. I can try for sure. So, I am trying…. Trying hard. For past two years now. I don’t know when exactly I realized it but I now know for sure that leaving my job and traveling across India was my shot at getting my innocence back and not peace or happiness… peace or happiness is simply a by product, or a permanent state of mind when we are innocent. I now remember clearly, I got inspired by not the happiness but innocence of those workers by the roadside when my car was hit by a landslide. I now know. Not know, but I now feel. Knowing is knowledge, is unreal. Feeling is real. I now don’t "know", but "feel" life. And what a life it has been in past two years….

The tour – the accident – coming back home – the Internet, flickr and orkut – the PCA – first exhibition – International Photography Award – first assignment – coming to Pune – FLOP and now the first issue. And in between these milestones, those “fill in the blank” moments…… so many of them – friends, family, loneliness, groups, activities, sleep, dreams, thoughts, depression, triumphs, feelings, contemplation, realization and freedom.

The milestones are not that important as the “feel in the blank” moments. That is what life is. FEEL. The road, the journey and not the destination.

A promise is a promise

:) Now you all know, I break my promises... well, go and read my first ever post on this blog and you will know :)

But, dont worry, I break my promises made to myself only... I dont break my promises made to someone else. Well, thats because I dont promise much to others :) Is it the reason, why girls dont find me too promising??? :):):)

IN SEARCH OF A NEW WORLD

For past many days, I was feeling the need to go far away from this world in search of a new world, a new identity for myself. A world, where I am no one. Nothing is expected out of me. No desires. No attachments of any sort. A world, full of nature and peace around.

But than, suddenly today, I realised. There exists no such world. Because, my world is inside me. Its my soul. No matter where I go, what I do, my soul will be in me. I cant run away from me.

So, I need to create a new world, of my liking, inside me. Just like Buddha did.

The Gift - sent to me by a dear friend which I want to share with everyone of you

Every single moment is a blessing. Every day is a precious gift. No sparkling piece of jewelry, no expensive high-tech gadget, no financial wealth can possibly match the value of waking up to a new day that is filled with possibilities.

How will you celebrate your good fortune today? What use will you make of the opportunities which lie open and exposed right in front of you? This moment is an empty canvas and you are an artist of extraordinary ability. What masterpiece will you create this time?

The little troubles and inconveniences have no right to hold you down. They're nothing compared to the good things you have. Those who merely endure this day are throwing away a magnificent opportunity that will never come again. What a sad and tragic mistake. Open the gift that is this moment and use it for all you can.

Love vs. Platonic relationship

As some one asked me - "tell me something on Love vs Platonic relationship"... My first question would be - "Have you ever experienced love?"... if not, whatever I say or write here, you will never be able to understand. So, stop reading if you never loved someone or have never been loved.


I dont want to define love anyways, but let me define platonic relationship. As per wikipedia - "Platonic relationship, in its modern popular sense, is a non-sexual affectionate relationship. A simple example of platonic relationships is a deep, non-sexual (i.e. overtly romantic) friendship, not subject to gender pairings and not excluding close relatives".

So, going by this definition - difference between love and platonic relationship is - plain and simple "sexual vs. non-sexual affection"... hmm... but, isnt "love making (in plain terms, sex)" inherent part of Love!!! can anyone's love be termed complete without love making? love making (or sex), in its most pure, spiritual or artistic sense one of the best gift you can give to your partner... so, its surely conclusive to say that love is not complete without love making involved...

Now, lets talk about "platonic relationship"... for example, if there are two friends of opposite gender (or even same gender... in modern times, it doesnt make much of a difference anyways), ...very close friends... and if they indulge in love making to satisfy eachother's physical urges (but actually doing it like to lovers, pure and pasionate, to the maximum satisfaction of both)... and both are positive and OK with it... they dont see any harm in it... but they say - "we are not in LOVE with eachother"... what kind of relationship would it be? the same can be termed true for close relatives that indulge in love making but never except it socially that they are actually in LOVE with eachother...

PS: I have chosen to use "love making" instead to "Sex", categorically to make a point that "i am still talking about the pure exchange of affection during the process)"... think and read ahead!

Not complicating it further, what i wanna say is - "its only socially that we want to differenciate between relationships that involve love making vs. those that does not. Psychologically and philosophically, it is a lot more complex thing to define and separate or categorise relationships with a clear and defined boundries"... in pure, human perspective, Relations are to be perceived and not defined.

Writting vs. Talking

It really has been over a month now since I have written anything here.... I can now safely call this a monthly dump :) two reasons for not writting here....
1) Lot of travelling and work
2) I have got someone to talk with (so no need to write everything :) -- this is the real reason!

Music of Life

I was reading this article about a science student from US did his research on "how music affects various part of our brain etc etc."... for proving this, he has listened to many tunes, many instruments, many song and symphonies and finally concluded this...... i wonder, what enjoyement he could have got from listening to this great tunes and symphonies,,, i guess none since he was so busy colcluding something thats known to humans for ages that Music affects our brain :)


Now, think about those who invented various musical instruments... think about their joy when they first heard that sound... or those who have composed those great symphonies.... what would have been its effect on their brains? awesome,, isnt it!!


I wonder, why have a chosen to study science and not arts? I guess, to know and understand "how worthless science is in front of art of living!!!" :) I pledge not to be scientific ever while enjoying the wonderful MUSIC OF LIFE!